Here are some more observations from the day -
Was today a holiday in Quebec, the only province in the country that thinks it's unique? The only uniqueness about is it that it gets a lot more federal money than anyone else. Now that's unique!! Yeah, not many Bloc Quebecois were in town today. A lot of green in their section. The members who were there had a lot of face time though - it seemed like each Bloc member had the opportunity to fire off a question in French in order to have it painfully replied in beginners French by MP Michael Chong (C). What was even stranger was that Chong was reading his answers off a sheet! I don't know who I felt worse for - Chong, or passé composé.
Ahh, the NDP. The purveyors of social equality, looking out for the little guy, asking questions of social conscience dreamed up by nine-year-olds across this fair dominion. Why are there poor people? Let's stop having poor people! Why is there pollution? Let's stop having pollution! These razor-sharp solutions to complex problems are pretty much why the NDP is relegated to the sidelines of political will and power in this country. Except provincially, where they notably held power in Ontario and British Columbia, and...well, I'll let you investigate the results of those two experiments. Rest assured that a graphical representation of poor people and pollution did not change during those tumultuous years.As for the NDP performance today, it was actually quite subdued and effective. Jack Layton came across quite strongly - he's on the 'pollution' tip, asking questions that conservatives are simply not able to answer. MP Rona Ambrose (C) wasn't around to field the questions, but I don't really think she knows what's going on either (she's only Minister of the Environment!?). Conservatives are in trouble in this area, and I think the NDP have done well in focusing on it.
But just as I began nodding my head in what seemed to be the first actual group of questions that were of an honest and progressive nature, out comes Olivia Chow (NDP) with her classic child poverty question that sounded a little something like this -
"Families across this country are telling me that they are two pay cheques away from being poor, where their children go hungry. Just how much child poverty is Mr. Harper willing to accept in Canada?"
The moral high ground. In fairness to Olivia Chow, in her seat-winning acceptance speech she did mention her plan to make child poverty history. Man, that is a promise!! No politician has ever taken such a daring stance! Is Olivia not worried about alienating voters?? There sure are some hard truths out there, and Olivia is not afraid to get up on that podium and tell it like it is!! Children are going hungry!! Let's stop it forever!! My Little Pony!!
So now it's the Liberals turn. I have come to the conclusion that the Liberal Party of Canada is indeed the natural ruling party in this country. Not because they're the best party, not because they're the most progressive party, and not because they're the smartest policy-makers in this country. The reason is that they understand politics. They understand selective moral outrage, and how to feign emotions like indignance, anger, frustration, and surprise. They know how to funnel money illegally into Quebec ridings, they know how to lie, they know how to pretend that they're the best party. They play the part. They are confident. They are politicians. And they don't make horribly rash decisions like changing income trust regulation overnight. Instead, they illegally leak mention of income trust changes to the bank (nod to Scott Brison), and generally prepare the markets and general public for the idea that income trust regulation will change. In doing so, they don't make rash decisions that destroy financial portfolios overnight. The morally right thing to do? Not really. The politically right thing to do? Yeah.The income trust decision, the glaring definitive proof that the Liberal party may slowly suffocate this country when in power, but will at least do it with your willing permission along the way. Don't like the GST? "It's gone!" said Chretien. Sponsorship scandal? Well, it didn't really affect you personally, did it? Life goes on. Income trusts will not, and thus describes the fate of the current minority conservative government.
Bill Graham (L-Hon.)The MP from Toronto Centre who gives Canadians yet another reason to loathe the self-described centre of the universe known affectionately as T dot O dot.
This guy is painful. Your classic old-school politician. Former lawyer, of course. Put anything in front of him and he will argue aggressively about it. Actually, he'll argue around it, not about it. Once you've seen him in action for five minutes on the House floor, you will likely never be able to believe a word he says thereafter. It's all fake, all oratory. It's like watching Peter Popoff, but without the magic crystal water you get in the mail when you call to receive prayer. A modern-day Elmer Gantry. He even has the same name as a pastor for chrissake!
I've never seen a guy get so worked up about an issue, and then literally twenty seconds later be yukking it up with his cohort Ralph Goodale. Talk about taking your heart out of it. Before he even sat down he was talking with a fellow MP about todays program or something, and all of a sudden a reading taking place drew applause from the Liberals. Graham looks up with a snort towards the conservatives and cheers loudly with the 'Hear Hear' response emanating from his automatonsils. This guy is why people are disappointed with their MPs, he's the reason why the phrase 'new blood' was coined. As in, "we desperately need new blood in this party and in the House".
There really weren't any other Liberal MPs that did much during Question Period today. All the other 'stars' weren't there, like Ignatieff or Volpe or Martin or Dryden or Bryson or Coderre. Basically it was Graham and Goodale, and I don't recall Ralph addressing the speaker today, though he did argue with conservative statements regarding income trusts. Raph, I feel your pain.
My Independent rant will focus on the only well-known Indy MP out there - Mr. Garth Turner. He just recently became an Independent, after being suspended by the federal Conservative Caucus for leaking party secrets on his blog. 
Garth Turner (Ind.)What to say about this guy. Likes to consider himself a renegade in politics, someone who will stand up and indeed yell that the Emperor has no clothes, even when the Emperor actually IS wearing clothes that day. But if his constituents prefer that he hurl himself up against the proverbial wall created by the unwashed stupid masses that compose our House of Commons, well that is what he'll proudly do. He's a man of the people. He's a man who used to give investment advice without a license. He's a man who told you to buy shares in Nortel as they plummeted from $120 a share to less than a dollar, falling faster than the cloak on this Emperor he keeps pretending to yell at. Speaking of cloaks, I hope the constituents didn't choose that leather suit jacket in a blog poll. The secret, Garth, is to have each voter register an email address in order to reduce the duplicate votes given by "ViLlaGepeOPle". I know, Garth- the democratic system is broken.
This rebel MP realized quickly that feigning moral authority as a 'true representative' of his riding is much harder when you're the actual party that has the power. All of a sudden you're expected to obtain results, not just bitch about how you can't because you're not in power. Not one to reinvent the wheel, Garth just kept bitching at the party in power, which was now his party...and consequently he gets kicked out. Man of the people!! Apparently political faux-martyrdom polls well, I had no idea.
He was pretty quiet today. Read some kind of report for the first ten minutes of Question Period, then listened for about two minutes, then left. Probably to go blog about how angry he is at the system. Oh, and he didn't push in his chair on the way out. You're probably thinking "With those small desks and spaces, there's no room to push in a chair!" Yeah, but he's a backbencher, the last desk, with about six feet of space behind him. Easy to come and go, much like Garth's stance on any discernible issue.
The system needs reforming, says Garth. And the best way to do it? Bitch and moan - the two cornerstones of a successful political blogger!! Because it's important what "Jackie Chans Left Hand" says in the comment section of a Garth blog entry on democratic reform. Let's take this comment to the House!! Minus the spelling mistakes of course. Man of the people indeed.
The Conservatives. Where to start. A party that loves strategy, a party that loves being in power. Even if it's minority power, albeit in a country where one province (Quebec) essentially blocks majority power for any party save one (The Liberals). The Conservatives are like that kid in business school who wants to be class president, so signs up secretly hoping no-one else runs against him, and then miraculously wins by acclamation. Then puts CLASS PRESIDENT in 24-point font on his curriculum vitae, even overshadowing his name. Amazingly, the word 'acclaimed' doesn't make it to the C/V! And then the new leader starts running things the way they 'ought' to be run - his way! After all, he's CLASS PRESIDENT! And you're not. So shutup.
Chuck Strahl (C)Chuck is the Minister of Agriculture, so I would be remiss if I didn't refer to him at least once as Chucky Cheese. Chucky had some spotlight time in the House today, and comes across as a solid guy. He came early, he stayed late, he listened, he spoke well, he participated, he used the words 'Mister Speaker' about sixty times in a thirty-second answer. Enough with the 'Mister Speaker'!! I think he actually hypnotised the room with this mantra during one of his answers, or maybe everyone fell asleep because they were bored. Who knows. Mister Speaker, perhaps!
John Baird (C) Almost as painful as Bill Graham, but less so only because he's younger and thus possibly more aware of how awkward, weird, and soul-destroying selective moral outrage can be.John Baird can't answer questions. I'm not talking about taking the question and twisting to fit a presupposed answer. I'm not talking about purposefully misrepresenting the question, or even indignantly defending his party by countering that the question is invalid or can be easily answered. That would acknowledge that a question was asked! Nope. John Baird likes to play the "But look at what YOU guys did!" to any question. Problem with corruption and the conservatives? What about Gagliano and the Liberals? Baird pulls out the "If corruption was an Olympic sport, the Liberal party would get the gold medal!" Even cagey ol' Bill Graham had a wry smile on his face after that whopper. Baird has learned from the best!! Who said opposed political parties can't find common ground?! It's been there all along, in the form of stupid useless rhetoric. Way to make us proud, boys!!
So we're going from the good to the bad to the attractive. The House of Commons is in desperate need of a makeover, but these two are rockets. They get my vote!!
Josée Verner (C)Representing the Quebec riding of Louise-Saint-Laurent, Josée is new on the MP front. She was a beneficiary of the Quebec defection from the Liberals.
Quebec, you see, had been dating the Liberals for a number of years, until there were some money issues, and some honesty issues. Quebec decided she wanted to see other people, and so has started dating the Conservatives.
It hasn't really got very serious though. It just doesn't feel right- that spark isn't there. It's that spark Quebec used to have with the Liberals, where Quebec would blather on and on about herself and about how she feels and how she often she thinks of separation from Canada; and the Liberals would nod quietly and pretend that they were interested in Quebec's problems before FINALLY bedding her.
Seems the Conservatives would rather talk about boring things with Quebec. Things like 'Canada', and how all provinces are distinct in their own way, which is what makes us such a beautiful and unified country. Blah blah blah. When are we going to talk about Quebec and Quebec's problems and Quebec's issues?!
This is when Cinderella's "Don't Know What You Got ('Til It's Gone)" starts playing, and Quebec quietly thinks about the Liberals, desperately wanting back in that dysfunctional relationship that was all about her. The Liberals will take you back, babe. They need the seats.
Josée Verner. She stood several times today to handle questions from the opposition. Unfortunately she's a one-night stand in the House of Commons.
Helena Guergis (C)Helena is fairly new as an MP, minted in 2004. She is also addicted to her Blackberry. She spent the whole Question Period thumbing it up while those around her at least feigned some sort of interest in the proceedings by conspicuously drawing doodles in a binder or something. Someone tell Garth about this woman, maybe he'll join the party again so he can borrow it and blog from the House of Commons.
But she is definitely a woman that gets things done. She listened for exactly thirty seconds of this 45-minute question session, and in that half-minute managed to scribble something down for Diane Ablonczy to say in response to a question about income trusts. Oh yeah, I forgot about Diane Ablonczy. Have you ever tried asking your mom about income trusts? And you get that blank look, and so you hand her a sheet about income trusts and then ask her the question, and she haltingy tries to answer by both studying and speaking about the subject she knows nothing about, all at the same time? Yeah, Flaherty needs to get back to the House of Commons in a jiffy. Hearing Diane Ablonczy talk about income trusts is like listening to my grandmother talk about Nine Inch Nails. I don't know why the conservatives left her in the lurch like that. Painful to watch.
It seems like there are many more conservatives here than other parties. I'd like to think it's only because there were simply many more conservative MPs than other party MPs in the House today, and the conservatives also seemed to have more 'star' MPs present. Jason Kenney for example was there and took answers for what seemed like half the question period. McKay was around. Stockwell Day. Clement too. The two big guns though, Harper and Flaherty, were nowhere to be seen.
So that was Question Period on November 20, 2006. Look at the fun you missed!
No comments:
Post a Comment